It is, About As Funny, As A Root Canal!

“Born With Teeth” Kate Mulgrew

fairy

It is, About As Funny, As A Root Canal!

You know
That feeling
Lying
In the chair
Thinking
Life 
Is not fair

Staring
At the ceiling
Anticipating
Sweat
Covering
Your skin
Waiting for
The drilling
To begin
The sound
Resonating
In your skull

Totally bound
With feelings
Of dull
Contemplating
An escape
Looking
At the window
Wishing
For a cape
Like a superhero
Flying away

No time
The Dentist
Hovering
Covering
Your eyes
With sunglasses
Working
In a quick pace
Before I
Can plot my
Break

My mind
Wandering to
Molasses?
Am I
Loosing it?
Completely
Sugar
Would be
The last thing
I needed

Mouth
Agape
Drooling
Like an ape
Fooling
Not a chance
In a deep
Trance
Or a drug endused
State

After all
Is done
Wishing
I had
A gun
Somehow
Cooling down
Getting up
Staggering
Reeling
A sick
Feeling

A glance
In the mirror
Spittle
And blood
On my face
Must be
An error
Covering
My head
With a hood

Leaving quickly
No looking
Back
Oh what
A quack
Never mind
It’s all over
Until
Next time

When
You hear
It’s as funny
As A root canal
Time to fear
And run
As fast
As you
Can

Star Trek – Wars

“Resistance is futile” The Borg

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Star Trek Wars

We had finally arrived at the annual Star Trek convention. Our little gang of geeks, all dressed up in their favourite character’s uniforms. Myself as Mr Spock of course, the half human, half Vulcan science officer from the original Star Trek show.

Some of us had been eagerly been awaiting to hit the shopping booths to find new collectibles for their already vast collections. We were scanning the area for familiar faces and hoping to hook up with some of our friends while here.

“Don’t venture too far!” I ordered the others, “The panel is about to begin in two hours and we want front row seats!” I shouted after my team who had already made their ways around the surrounding shopping area.

The one portraying the Captain’s character was far too reckless, not to mention air headed, to lead anyone, let alone herself. So for now, despite the fact of being the first officer in rank, the dubious task of leadership of this ragtag crew had fallen onto me.

I noticed some of our friends a little further and waved at them. They were dressed as Klingons and during the conventions, they were always in full character, speaking nothing but Klingon. Luckily I had mastered the language myself. Let’s just say the conversation with them was, interesting, at best.

***

It was nearly time for the first panel of the day, guest starring one of my favourite actors, William Shatner. Due to my diligence, we had managed to get the front row seats and were now eagerly awaiting for the mighty Shatner to arrive. My crew and I had a few questions for him and if luck would serve us, we would get the opportunity to present them for him.

“Oh. My. God!” ‘Uhura’ was over excited when she joined us finally.

“What?” I asked her.

“You will never guess what I just heard at the juice bar?” She continued.

“Spit it out already!” I was getting anxious.

“Well, the word out there is, that there is a heard of Star Wars fans dressed in Stormtroopers uniforms coming to the convention.” Uhura told us.

“This convention? Our convention? The STAR TREK convention?!” For a Vulcan, my pitch was overly high and my emotions up the roof.

“Yeah and they are led by none other than Darth Vader himself!” She added knowingly.

“When is this supposed to happen?” I asked her, hoping she had better intel than just rumours or gossip.

“Not sure, but I heard this from a reliable source!” She ensured me.

“I need details people! Go and get some proper intel, we still have thirty minutes to go!” I was ordering my crew, who were looking at me like I had lost it, but did as I told them anyway.

After they had left I sat down in defeat and said to myself, “I cannot work like this!” holding my head in my hands feeling a massive migraine coming on.

A little later they returned and confirmed what Uhura had told earlier. The general consensus was, that a group of Star Wars fans were about to invade the convention, but as to when was still uncertain.
We all agreed to keep our eyes and ears open. But for now, concentrate on more urgent matters, such as the panel led by William Shatner.

***

Some fifteen minutes into the panel, where the boring questions were done with, the fans were gearing up for more interesting topics and our turn was coming up soon, it happened.

A character dressed in a black uniform, complete with a cape and helmet and accompanied by roughly twenty odd people dressed in all white plastic uniforms, charged in front.

“Vader!” I stood up from my seat and pounced to the direction where the perpetrators had made their stance.

“Die Trekkies, die!” Darth Vader breathed through his mask and was ready to charge.

“We prefer Trekkers!” I shouted as I charged towards the enemy with full force, my crew not far behind and the other conventionalists joining.

“What ever!” Vader shouted back.

A wrestling match of sorts started, each side showing and pushing each other.

One of the troopers had charged to the stage and managed to bump into Mr Shatner, before he had been able to escape the competitive fan uprising. Our crew was the first to respond to the distress and our resident crew member, the Doctor reached Mr Shatner first. Shatner was laying on the floor, holding his head. The Doctor checked his pulse, then looked at us and back at Shatner again and said:

“You’re dead Jim!”

Mr Shatner looked at him and rolled his eyes: “Right!” Was all he told the smirking ‘Doctor’.

“Are you alright Mr Shatner?” I asked concerned.

“I will be, as soon as I get out from this,” He was waving towards the crowd, “Madness!”

After helping Shatner up and guiding him towards the exit, I and the Doctor joined the rest of our crew, returning to the battle field.

Today is a good day to die!” One of the troopers shouted.

“Hey, that line is from our franchise!” The Doctor from our group responded.

“Yeah! Get your own lines!” Another Trekker added.

And with our faux phasers and light sabers, the Trekkers and the Star Wars fans continued their age long battle, to the proverbial death!

***

Later, sitting confined in one of the empty conference halls, after getting arrested, the bulk of the fans on either side, some three hundred of us in total. No one was saying much. I was also regretting loosing myself and my Vulcan ways engaging in battle rather than trying to solve the issue with logic and peaceful negotiation.

Guess the lesson learnt here is, no matter the franchise or belief, there is always room for all kinds of fandoms and each of us should respect each others’ choices.

trek wars

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee…and some more Coffee

“There really is no life before the first pot of coffee in the morning” Gun Roswell

InstaReel Photo 36

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee…and some more Coffee

Since the dawn of time when humans first dropped down from the trees and started walking, their first trip must have been to the closest Starbucks for some coffee.

Remember the classic film “2001: A Space Odyssey” and first scene where the prehistoric man is bewildered when a big black block lands before him? What if instead of the monolith a giant cup of coffee would have landed? I think we would have evolved much faster and would be more advanced today if that would have been the case 😉

But let’s move forward in time and to present day.

I have dropped in a quite a few suggestions (read request) in our office “suggestion box“: Add to the list of necessary office supplies an IV drop filled with coffee. Each worker would then be hooked into the IV every morning and during the day; a dedicated person would circulate around the office and re-fill the empty ones.

But seriously, coffee is the one good drug that keeps this world up and running. Here is an example of an ordinary working day:

1st cup: 06.00 AM: Eyes barely open reaching for my glasses on the night stand sniffing for that precious aroma. Nothing yet! Half running downstairs praying the automated coffee maker has not suffered from any kind of electrical stroke during the night and my coffee would be there waiting for me.

It is! Hallelujah let the day begin!

2nd cup: 06.20 AM: Morning ablutions behind me, standing fully clothed ready to take off to work, gulping the second cup of coffee while reaching for the door.

3rd cup: 07.00 AM: In the office, turning on the coffee machine before even reaching for the lights in the darkened office. Impatiently waiting while the machine is making its morning sounds before I can insert my coffee capsule into the damned thing and get my coffee (Note: It’s a double shot just to make sure I don’t run out before I can tackle today’s pile of work).

4th to 6th cup: 08.00 to 11.00 AM: A steady flow of “double shots” for each cup to keep up the pace of the day and a smile on my face.

7th cup: 11.30 AM: A cup of coffee to complement a tasty lunch, of course 😉

8th to 9th cup: 12.00 PM to 02.00 PM: One for each scheduled meeting for the afternoon.

10th (to 11th) cup: 02.15 PM: It is finally time for the afternoon coffee break! (In reality this is a very large cup so guess it counts for two or more…).

12th cup: 03.00 PM: Last squeeze (and cup of coffee) before the day’s work is done!

13th cup: 04.00 PM: Time to leave for home, one more for the road…

14th to Umpteenth cup: 05.00 PM to Midnight: After a full day of work, I managed a full hour of exercise, went grocery shopping and vacuumed the whole house. Albeit I was so perked up from all the coffee I managed to get to bed early (around 2 AM) after cleaning a few closets and taking the dog out three times during the evening for a brisk walk and of course, having a cup of coffee here and there; P

The lesson learned: There is no such thing as too much coffee!

 

By the way, last time I had my yearly check up at the doctors, the conclusion was: there was far too much blood in my caffeine circulation!

InstaReel Photo 17

Launch pad

“Zoom, and into the moon, we go!” Gun Roswell

Launch pad

“Time for launch, t minus ten minutes. Astronauts, please prepare for lift off!”

The scared first timers, are waiting for the final tome, as, they’re prepared to, go to the moon

Not too long ago, when time was still going very slow
The dreamers were plotting, in silence and soft corners squatting
For that special day in the future, were humanity would embark on an adventure
Flying to the far away stars, landing on the luminescent ball, hoping off it not to fall

Now that the moment is finally here
Keeping a watchful eye on the bright sphere
Which soon will be conquered, at least the image of it conjured
On each and every small screen, a large scale spectacle, never before seen

“T minus one minute to lift off. Those not prepared going to the moon, better clear the area, soon!”

And so the moment long awaited, which some say, was too long hesitated
Is finally here, no time for fear, as the engines roar, and up there, the rocket soars

Somewhere else

“I am not from here, I am from somewhere else” Gun Roswell

Somewhere else

When a stranger asks me, where are you from?
How can I respond to that, without feeling dumb?

I am certainly not from here,
Not from this blue glowing sphere
I am originally from somewhere else
Just watch me, there are tells

Telling the stranger, I arrived here by ship
Some time ago, when it landed on the cliff

That is crazy talk some might say
But I don’t care as I am not here to stay
Just going on about my life as usual
Since it is as is, quite acceptable

What comes to my adopted friends and family
They don’t really care whether I come from here or from another galaxy

Image:If the Shoe Fits I two

If the Shoe Fits

“I like Cinderella, I really do. She has a good work ethic.
I appreciate a good, hard-working gal. And she likes shoes.
The fairy tale is all about the shoe at the end, and I’m a big shoe girl”
Amy Adams

The Evil Red Shoe Queen 

“Mirror mirror on the wall
Am I still the evilest of them all?
And more precisely, are my shoes
The shiniest in the world?

The Red Shoe Queen demanded the mirror.

An image appeared into the mirror’s glass and with an evil grin responded:

“Undoubtedly, you are quite evil, my dearest Queen. But, there is another….”

The Queen stared at the mirror, wanting it to crack, from a mere look.

If the Shoe Fits I one

If the Shoe Fits

“I like Cinderella, I really do. She has a good work ethic.
I appreciate a good, hard-working gal. And she likes shoes.
The fairy tale is all about the shoe at the end, and I’m a big shoe girl”
Amy Adams

Little Red Riding Shoes

Meanwhile, in the deepest of forests, a young girl was on her way to the shoemakers house.

Hop, skip and a twirl,
Little Red Riding Shoes was about to hurl!
Too much fun, pardon the pun
Can cause a headache most foul
And make your stomach scream and growl!

To be continued…